RealTouch: Break All The Rules

Virtual Sex is Now Reality

In the long and storied history of teledildonics, science has always tried to recreate the inside of a woman’s wee-wee and poop parts with accuracy, tact, and lubrication. Well, friends, all those years of effort have paid off with the RealTouch, a honking big device that recreates every nuance of the human anatomy, albeit in a way that makes it look like you’re violating Mr. Peanut.

How does it work? While you watch a video on your PC, the device reacts to the on-screen action. Dual rubber bands run up and down inside the case while a handy reservoir releases lube. The action corresponds with motion cues sent over U.S.B. from your computer ensuring that you staring at your computer with a log on your lap isn’t creepy at all.

I think the funniest thing is the size of this thing. Look at the video on the RealTouch website (VERY NSFW) when you have a chance. This think looks bigger than my old VW Beetle.

Best of all? This was made by a former NASA engineer. If he were still on staff, I’m sure we’d all be on Mars by now. Expect a review shortly. It costs $149 and is available now.